guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
