Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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