I didn't shave. On purpose
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
