I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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