true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
