Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
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