Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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