Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
