you turned your livingroom into a bong?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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