Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize