I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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