just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
