saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize