just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
