I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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