is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
