I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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