i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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