the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
