I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
