Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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