i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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