Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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