My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
