we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize