Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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