Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
His nipple licking is glorious
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
