Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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