I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize