dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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