I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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