my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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