You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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