My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize