Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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