Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!

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(913): View more from Kansas

Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.

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(757): View more from Virginia

we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(217): View more from Illinois

so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it

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(913): View more from Kansas

I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me

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(319): View more from Iowa

i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.

(413): View more from Massachusetts

The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.

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