And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
