i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
