I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches