I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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