you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
