PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
