Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize