i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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