Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize
