Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Randomize
