There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
