Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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