I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize