i think my tv is drunk
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
