this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
should my penis look like a turkey
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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