I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
