i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
