Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
