My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
