Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
